Past to Possibility: Eva Lydon

Eva shares a defining moment from her life which shaped the person she is today

A warm hello from me! 👋🏻 If you're new here, I’m Natasha — psychotherapist, mum, wife, and cocktail enthusiast! 🍹

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I’m excited to continue my spin-off series: Past to Possibility.

This series is all about exploring the powerful connection between past experiences, how they shape the present, and how they influence the possibilities for the future.

Through a series of reflective questions, each interviewee will share a significant moment in their life that sparked personal growth, how it influenced their mindset and actions, and how those insights continue to impact them today. I’m grateful to Eva for sharing her pivotal story and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Past to Possibility Interview #4: Eva

Eva is a mid-life writer, graphic designer, podcaster, and mum to two girls, living in Hampshire, UK. She is passionate about healthy relationships (including with ourselves), supporting parents to see their true worth and value, and how that positively impacts parents’ and children’s emotional wellbeing. Eva has written two children’s books, she has two more books up her sleeve, and she LOVES crisps!

What is one defining moment or experience from your past that has shaped the person you are today?

Discovering I had a cancerous tumour (the size of a golf ball) in one of my lungs - aged 34

How did that moment or experience impact you as a person at the time?

Honestly... I remember feeling relieved. Not just because it finally became clear why I had been so ill for so many months, but because I gained the love, compassion and understanding from my husband/family that I had been longing for, for a very long time.

I know that might sound a bit strange and I'm hoping people won't judge me too harshly for this, but I had a very tough time as a teen/young adult and was largely ignored, dismissed, shamed or teased for having feelings and/or needing support or understanding.

After this (strange but significant) initial reaction, my thoughts immediately turned to my 3-year-old daughter and my (then) husband. “What if I die? How will they cope?” I need to write a will, etc... I didn't have long to prepare, as I was booked in for surgery to remove the tumour 6 weeks later.

I had been told that my lung had collapsed and that they needed to get the tumour (and half of my lung) removed ASAP. Oh, and for some strange reason (which I'm still not clear on today) I had attended that appointment alone. The appointment where I was also informed that my survival rate (if the tumour wasn't removed) was 5 years maximum! Head spinning dazed and confused, I remember just sort of saying; "Right... Ok, thank you doctor. I'll see you in 6 weeks"

Then I just went into full on 'sort my life out' mode... any jobs around the house that needed finishing/fixing had to be done, all my paperwork had to be in order, I carried on as normal with my daughter... but noticed myself deeply absorbing every little expression on her innocent face... just in case. I was strangely calm about it all.

I was practical, productive, up-beat even... much to the confusion of my friends and family - who of-course now deemed THIS situation to be worthy of their love and support. I didn't want it, I didn't need it... I was "fine". We dampened down the situation for my daughter's benefit and I started to believe it... "Mummy just needs to be in hospital for a couple of days, having a little operation, nothing serious."

After 6 hours of open lung surgery and nearly losing me right there on the operating table, due to anaphylaxis (caused by one of the anaesthetics). I made it! I survived, I WILL see my daughter again, I get to live. I get a second chance at life, I get to start again and you know what, there's going to be some changes.

I will never forget that feeling of pure euphoria, relief, freedom and possibility as I stepped out of the hospital, clinging to my dad's arm and took my first breath of fresh air in just under a week.

Tears streaming down my face, I turned to my dad and said:

I'm free... I'm alive... I made it!

I honestly felt like I had been released from prison that day, that I had been unchained from the shackles of looming death, suffocation and deep, deep sadness. I was free!

During months of gruelling recovery and a bout of sepsis (that nearly finished me off), it was suddenly so clear to me what I wanted out of life. The decision was made to have another child in the near future, a holiday to our favourite far away destination was booked. There was a huge pull to just "get on with it", "what are we waiting for?!", "we need to do the things we love NOW!"

My passion for creativity returned, my love for things that nurture me and make me feel inspired was back, my parenting was more present and meaningful, the compassion for myself and others grew stronger. I started to dream and wander and I started to write.

In what ways do you notice the influence of that experience showing up in your daily life or mindset today?

So many ways! I feel grateful every day that I'm here, that my children are here and I get to see them grow up. I like to seize opportunities as they arise, because you never know right. All the cliché stuff. But I'll be honest, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. I've also battled with a lot of guilt and imposter syndrome for many, many years (and still do).

"Why did I get to live and those other people (in the beds next to me in hospital) didn't?"

"I'd better make the most of life and be the best I can possibly be"

"How dare I be happy and enjoy my life, when other people don't get to?"

To be fair, I think that last one would be in me whether I'd had the cancer or not. One super positive shift is that I definitely give much less of a f*ck about the things other people/society in general thinks I should and shouldn't be doing with my life. I've spent a lot less time worrying about what people think of me and how I might present myself.

I've learned to accept myself as I am, with all my quirks. I've learned to be unapologetically me, because I am not wasting anymore of my time or energy on people who can't accept me as I am.

I've definitely become more compassionate and forgiving towards people in general and always try to think about the invisible battles a person might be going through. I've gained a lot more insight and understanding about various people from all walks of life, through the charity work that I undertook in the last 10 years. This has certainly helped to deepen my empathy for parents especially, through the parenting courses I helped to facilitate.

My mindset has definitely shifted to be more centred around my values and ensuring that I check in with these often.

As I say to my girls... We are all human, we will make mistakes. The key is to admit when you are wrong, apologise if you need to, learn from it and move on. Harbouring guilt, shame or anger will only damage your own wellbeing. This is also true with feelings and emotions of any kind, which is why I'm a huge advocate for supporting children to release all of their emotions in a safe and appropriate way.

I am passionate about the importance of parents nurturing their own emotional wellbeing, so that they then have the capacity and understanding to support their children with theirs.

Tell us about a decision or action you’ve taken recently where your current mindset, shaped by your past, played a significant role?

I've definitely noticed a mindset of not staying in a situation I am deeply unhappy with. We all have to do things we don't like occasionally, or that make us feel a little uncomfortable. I'm talking about things, situations or surroundings that are perhaps toxic, deeply unhealthy, destructive or damaging. I now have a very low tolerance for these and will find the quickest way out, if I find myself in a situation or environment that embodies any of these things.

What connections do you see between your past and your present? Does this surprise you?

Despite what my body has been through and the apparent appreciation of having this life to live in it, I am surprisingly unkind to it. I still find myself in patterns of self-sabotage (over eating or eating all the wrong foods for example) as I did before the cancer. I always seem to manage to stop myself before it has gone too far, but it is a constant battle. I still have a lot of issues with self-worth and believing that I don't deserve to be happy or successful. It is a daily battle in my head, but with the help of years of therapy, mindfulness, meditation and all the wonderful resources and support I have found here on Substack and elsewhere... I'm getting there... finally... aged 45!

Following your journey to this point, how do you imagine your current mindset, actions and habits will influence your future?

I'm hoping that with continued effort in the areas previously mentioned, I can finally accept that I am a good person, I am doing the best I can and I deserve to follow my passions and succeed in the goals and aspirations I have for this one precious life of mine.

What possibilities in the future are you most hopeful or excited about?

I've started this year clearer than ever before, about the direction I wish for my writing life to go in. I'm excited at the possibility of publishing a series of children's books, of writing a novel and even perhaps, one day, being brave enough to tell the story of what it was that made those teenage/young adult years so heartbreakingly difficult.

^✨Reflection: How did you find this exploration of the links between your past, present, and future?

Honestly, this exploration was far more impactful than I thought it would be. In reflecting back, I found myself in tears as I recounted some of those extremely powerful, pivotal moments in my life. I feel extremely grateful for the opportunity and hope that my openness and (sometimes brutal) honesty can be met with the same empathy and compassion, that I have managed to find for myself.

Thank you to anyone who has read this to the end and thank you Natasha for letting me be a part of this fabulous, thought provoking, nurturing and healing interview series! 😊

Connect with Eva:

Substack: Great Little Insights

Website: Great Little Company

Instagram: Great Little Insights

Natasha’s reflection

Wow, Eva is here with a second chance at life!

The candid description of Eva’s illness highlighted the full range of emotions she felt: relief, gratitude, freedom, guilt. It highlights how incredibly complex this experience was for Eva psychologically, and how we can feel multiple emotions at the same time. With a life-changing diagnosis and two near-death experiences, I can totally empathise with the “seize the day” mentality. Eva has done a lot of work to process what happened and offer herself compassion for what was a scary time of her life, especially as a mother of a young child.

Eva, I’m going to speak to you directly now:

I hear the survivor’s guilt you’re carrying, and I can only imagine how heavy that must feel. It’s so natural to ask “Why me?” after going through something like you did, especially when others didn’t make it. I really want you to know that your life is just as precious as anyone else’s, and you deserve every bit of joy and success that comes your way. Your survival isn’t just about you - it’s about the love and light you bring to everyone around you. You’ve already made such an impact, just by being here and sharing your story. As hard as it may be to believe at times, you are worthy of this life, of everything you’ve dreamed of, and of all the happiness you’ve worked hard to create. You belong here. It wasn’t your time. Your imperfect human experience gets to continue! 💜

✨What stands out to you from Eva’s experiences?

Work with me

Curious about how your past has shaped your beliefs and behaviours? I offer 1:1 online therapy to help you lead a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.

Therapy with me focuses on three key areas:

• Relief – Helping you feel less overwhelmed, dissatisfied, and stuck.

• Resolution – Understanding and resolving past experiences so they no longer shape your beliefs and behaviours.

• Empowerment – Gaining control of your choices and future, with a clear plan to sustain your progress after therapy.

You might also like these posts:

• Past to Possibility Interviews – More inspiring stories from reflective women sharing their experiences.

• Therapist Check-ins – Monthly reflections on my life as a therapreneur: the challenges, the stats, and the wins.

• Deep-dives - In-depth explorations of psychology and business related topics.

Excited to read the next interview?