Deep-dive: Authenticity

Part 3 of a 5 part series exploring my top values

For the past decade, I’ve embraced my top 5 values and noticed significant, meaningful changes to my wellbeing and my sense of self. Today I’m deep-diving into authenticity and helping you reflect on the reasons you might want to embrace it too.

What is authenticity?

Just be real friend.
Be who you are,
and where you are at.
That's enough,
and it's the only way
forward.

Most of us have put on enough masks
in our life time,
to have completely forgotten
our original face.

We've become far too clad
with the heavy coats of expectation,
suffocating under the weight
of the ways we think we ought to be.

You can drop that garb.

There's always mystery
at the naked core of who you are,
and that's just fine.

It's not that we must rediscover
some definable self,
and hand that image over
for validation.
Rather, those solid definitions we
cart around with us
are heavy enough as it is,
but we've continued pushing them
despite the distress.

We've gotten so used
to that awkward play
of needing to be a somebody,
as if that somebody
were other than
who we already are.

We've forgotten how to let go
with all the spontaneity
of a flowers growth;
forgotten the beauty
of our own personal bloom.
That we are a fluid sweep
of light and dark.
That our faces,
like the moons,
wax and wane.

You don't have to be any which way,
other than the way you are.
That sort of self acceptance
is the innate flourish,
is the fluid self cycle,
is the way back into life.

Don't fool yourself
into believing
there is a better disguise.
Strip down to the bare beauty
of your authentic state
in this moment,
and move from there.

~ Christopher Wallace

Authenticity sounds good... but is it realistic?

Authenticity to me means being yourself. No masks. No filters. Your true self.

It’s the relief of not having to perform. You can exhale.

Yet, so many of us struggle to embrace authenticity. This is because there can be very real consequences to being yourself. People don’t always like it.

But the right people might…

A 360° view of authenticity

Reasons TO be authentic

• You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not.

• You feel lighter and more relaxed in conversations, relationships, and work.

• You can make decisions more easily because you know yourself.

• Your self-trust + confidence grows through your honesty and self-acceptance.

• You attract the right people and opportunities

Reasons NOT to be authentic

• Some people won’t like the real you (yep, ouch).

• It might feel safer to be a chameleon and keep others happy

• You can follow external expectations on autopilot

• Life can feel predictable and less anxiety-provoking

• You protect yourself from feeling vulnerable

Reflection: What came up for you when you read these reasons?

Reasons to STAY as you are

• It’s simpler this way

• No one will have to cope with you changing, including you

• You can avoid the internal work it takes to get to know yourself deeply

• The boat will stay un-rocked

• You can stay in your comfort zone

Reasons NOT to stay as you are

• You lose connection to yourself

• You feel more and more unfulfilled over time

• You experience self-doubt + resentment builds

• It’s exhausting

• An identity crisis could happen at any moment…

Reflection: Which reason stood out to you from these lists?

Photo by Aditya Saxena on Unsplash

Freedom is here for you

Ultimately, there is liberation and freedom in CHOOSING to embrace yourself.

There is no one better in the universe to be you than YOU!

Perhaps your curly hair came from your mum.

Perhaps being organised and pragmatic came from epigenetics.

Perhaps your love of teal is unmatched by anyone 🤭

Perhaps losing a loved one early in life means you want to embrace a meaningful life.

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Tell me about YOU

What makes up who you are? I’d love to know in the comments! 💜